all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
