im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
