were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
