can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
