And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize