Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
