would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
