i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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