I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My vagina is officially offended.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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