btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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