Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
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