I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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