Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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