Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
