dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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