the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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