the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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