its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
