I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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