so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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