Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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