at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
