Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
