bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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