Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
