Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she told me i tasted like america
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize