We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
