I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
