I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Randomize
