i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
