im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
