Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
