just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
