HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize