just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
