Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Randomize
