Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
