He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
