Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize