don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
