just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
