it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
