Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
