All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
