My Higher Power is John Stamos
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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