I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
NoShamevember. You game?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
