how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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