Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize