I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
