when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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