just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
