I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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