Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
