Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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