I want to have your abortion
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
birth control should be required to get into college
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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